Sky-N-Sun - MSDS - Man

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
MAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

SECTION I - IDENTIFICATION

ELEMENT:		Man
SYMBOL:		M0
DISCOVER:		Eve
ATOMIC MASS:		Accepted as 180 lbs., but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs.
OCCURRENCE:		Copious quantities in all urban areas, most common to bars, sleazy strip joints and sports arenas.

SECTION II - PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

Surface usually covered with coarse hair of varying hue.
Is completely unreceptive to nuance.
Very volatile in situations that do not feed its ego.
Obstinate if incorrectly used.
Found in various states ranging from comatose to overbearing.
Yields to pressure applied to correct point.
Can be easily traced by large quantities of debris left in its wake.

SECTION III - CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

Has a great affinity for nudity, alcoholic beverages, TV remote controls and all types of contact sports.
If properly handled has been known to excrete great quantities of expensive substances.
Usually sedate unless mixed with like substances, sometimes this causes regression to infancy.
Becomes slower but more endurable with age.
Most powerful sanity-reducing agent known to woman.

SECTION IV - COMMON USES

Can be harnessed and driven.
Great replacement for the outdated pet rock.

SECTION V - TESTS

Pure specimen turns and chases you when discovered in the natural state.
Puffs up when placed beside a better specimen.

SECTION VI - -HAZARDS

When in one's possession, must be cared for constantly.
If contact is made without extreme caution, may cause swelling of the abdomen.
Idiotic to possess more than one at a time.